Women Rule...Men Drool

Call me sexist. I don't care. But, from where I sit, the evidence is plentiful. Women get more interesting and vital as they age; men become overripe and rot.

Case in point. My husband "retired" a year ago at age 62. Other than a short term part-time job last Christmas, a few weeks of consulting he did for a friend, and a request from his former employer to "help out" for awhile, he doesn't do much. Not much at all. Oh sure, in the summer he golfed and fished. That was great. But we live in Wisconsin and the golf and fishing season is over in the blink of an eye. He seems content to wake up early, feed the dogs, make coffee, nibble incessantly, and read and watch TV (usually at the same time). (Did I mention gain weight?) Oh, in case I forget, he also naps. There is the morning nap. The afternoon nap. And the nap before bedtime. He also makes an occasional foray to the bathroom, the computer,or the laundry room to switch loads. His big adventure is going to the library to get more books.

Now I'm all about the "zen" life. There is a lot to be said for just chilling and living with diminished stress. But I see the zen life as a phase - something you do while the Universe is preparing to send you Further Life Instructions. But my husband is not in a phase. This is where he is - forever. He has no plans to do anything. He is content. I hate content!!! I don't get it! And I am not alone...

"Oh my god!' yelled my friend, "all my husband does is go to work, come home, nap, read and watch TV. I can't stand it! We used to DO things together! What happened?" Another friend - "My husband isn't any fun anymore. He's too young to be so old!"

Many women also find themselve re-sexualized after 40. They look for more adventure in bed. Do men? Not from what I hear - (or at least not at home). "My sex life is sooooo boring. Same old thing. It's like a dance routine. I know all the steps. And my husband seems perfectly content with this!!!," confided a friend of mine. I know one woman who actually gave her husband clear, simple instructions about what turned her on. Like a good man, he followed the instructions. Once. Next time, it was the old routine. What's a girl to do?

I believe I can conclude that men are content with very little. They want their lives to run smoothly. They like things the way they are. Women, on the other hand are like hives that just want to break out! Whether it is sexual, recreational, job-related or whatever - we crave newness - while living with men who just like to keep on keeping on. It's a wonder any marriage lasts.

So, how does this happen? Are the men in our lives simply worn out from all those years of "providing"? Doubt it. That excuse would have worked 40 years ago...but today, women work. Many bring home half of the family income, sometimes more. AND while we do this we hold down several other jobs - Mom, housekeeper,meal planner and cook, time and appointment manager and, my personal favorite, social director. (In my house we would never go anywhere or do anything if I stopped making plans for us) Objectively speaking, we should be the ones who lie around and rest-up after the kids are gone or we retire. But we don't. We catch a second (sometimes a third) wind and blaze new paths, conquer new territories, change our look, find new friends (and keep the old ones, of course)learn new skills and anything else that strikes our fancy. Our men, not so much.

I realize there are exceptions to the "men get old faster" theory. There are always exceptions. But I don't see magazine stories extolling the adventures of many men who reinvent themselves. Those who do, often do it with their wives.

Girls, we fought hard for equality. As I see it, if we were to be equal to our men at this point in our lives, we would have to slide down the ladder a few pegs. We are already superior. We have more energy, more drive and more things to achieve after 40. As they seem to whither, we bloom and flower.

I used to wonder what older women found appealing about dating (or playing) with younger men. Now I think I get it. This may mean that Cher and Demi are my heroes now. They figured all this out long ago.