Fear

I was walking my dogs the other day, listening to a re-broadcast of This American Life (the BEST show EVER). One of the stories was about a young, developmentally delayed man who decided one day to write down all his fears. His list was fascinating. It made me wonder if I were capable of listing mine...and owning them. So here are a few, in no particular order (except for number one).

Water. Not the drinking kind. More like the water you swim in or fish in. I don't swim because I'm sure I will drown. I have taken many lessons and I always fail. I don't do boats unless it's a pontoon or a cruise ship because I can fool myself into thinking I am safe. People who love the water don't get it...so I stay away from them.

Suffocating (see water)

Confrontation with people who are good at arguing
In these situations whatever I do know flies out the window and I babble pitifully.

Being invisible (in the sense that no one notices me) The older you get the less visible you are.

Dancing. I just have no rhythm to speak of.

Bridges (see water)

Acting on my violent fantasies Sometimes I meet a person and, for no apparent reason, discover I just don't like him/her. In my mind I smack them across the face with a bat or a board and I feel good. I've never acted on this but I fear I might one day. I also hate the AT&T lady who welcomes me to my voice mail...I often envision smashing my phone against the wall until it's pulverized and she's dead. I once tripped my friend's son as he ran thru the living room knocking things over and being generally bratty. I remember saying "Oh honey, I I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Not a proud moment to recall (but it sure felt good)

Radical conservatives. The most unchristian folks on earth hiding behind their ill-conceived, vile and mean version of Christianity. I fear they will take over. This would mean acting on my violent fantasies (see above)

Actually saying what I am thinking. Sometimes my thoughts are unkind...(like, Oh my god, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen!)most often my thoughts are funny or sarcastic. But, you have to "get" me to appreciate me.

Being served hot spicy food at someone's dinner party. This happened to me once. I couldn't spit it in my napkin or feed it to their dog (they didn't have one) I don't understand why people eat food that bites back, burns their mouths and causes indigestion.

Speed. Just don't like going fast. This eliminates things like skiing, sledding, and car racing from my Bucket List. That's okay. I can live with that.

Cold calling. How do sales people do this? I simply cannot imagine having the courage to call someone and ask them to buy something. Shudder.

All right, that's enough. Your turn.