Dressing for regress

We were drawn to the store by the window display. Coaxed inside by the "to die for" jeans. Like lemmings to the sea, the inner store displays pulled us in further. We were in Wonderland.

The most over-used and commonly heard word while women shop is "cute". "Oh that's so cute!", "That looks so cute on you!" "Did you see this cute bag?" I am just as guilty as all my sisters for using this word. Even though I hate it. Let's face it, a $400 handbag is not 'cute', it's expensive. But on this day, in this store, we were in the Land of Cute.

Like inmates on a day-pass we flitted crazily from rack to rack, and sale rack to sale rack. Adorable t-shirts, amazing tunics, great pants, and shelves of leggings in every possible pattern . We eventually bypassed the leggings, admitting that maybe we were too old to indulge in the trend this time around. My mother used to tell me that it is wonderful when something you wore twenty years ago comes back into fashion. But, she would caution, when it comes back for the third time you are too old for it. Sigh.

On that day, we were on a mission to find trendy clothes that were appropriate (grrr) for more mature women. Things that could be worn to work or out to dinner. Nothing that looked boxy, boring or flowing like a Bea Arthur outfit. Something a bit more exciting than Ann Taylor Loft or Liz (yawn) Claiborne. We loaded our arms with things we just 'had to try on for the fun of it' and headed for the dressing rooms.

The young lady who unlocked our fitting rooms was, at most, 17. I remember thinking, 'I could be her grandmother.' However depressing this thought might have been, I pushed on. My friend and I would talk to each other from behind the locked doors of our fitting rooms. "Do you have it on?" one of us would ask. The tone of the answer would determine whether we would get to see "it" on each other. "Yea," my friend answered, ""I'm not sure...". "Let me see!" I demanded. And one or the other of us would pop a head outside the room, scan the area for others who might see us, and slowly come out. The routine is the same no matter who is trying an item on. This is pretty much where our shopping similarities end.

I have a few basic criteria for choosing my clothes: price, style, fit and price. (I'm thrifty). Clearly price is important. "Fit" is even more important. I don't want to hem, tuck, or have to adjust. A bargain is not a bargain if you have to have it altered. How it looks matters...if I think it needs a jacket, a necklace or some other accessory - then it's wrong for me. I love accessories (though I don't wear many)but if I NEED accessories, then there is something intrinsically wrong with the item. (In my twisted head). My friend sees this process differently. She sees everything and I mean everything. She cannot try on a piece of clothing without checking her makeup and fingering her hair. She even does this little thing with her lips where she looks like she's about to kiss something. It never fails to make me laugh. The clothing almost always seems secondary to the whole picture. And she imagines almost everything with accessories.

On this particular day, we struggled with sizes...'small', 'medium' and 'large' were really 'smaller,' 'a bit bigger', and 'allows you to breathe'. We adjusted. Once the first batch of clothing was tried on, we went back for more. I had zeroed in on a t-shirt and was debating a pair of skinny jeans (YES you heard me, skinny jeans..) My friend was fixated on some "cute" tops she would wear under jackets. Then suddenly, as if a light had magically been shone upon us, my friend froze, looked up, and then lowered her eyes and head. In a small, whispery voice she leaned into me and said, "The average age of the people shopping in here is 12." I looked around. She was right. "Well, " I reasoned after a few nanoseconds of deep thought, "we could always say we were shopping for our grandaughters". Feeling "oh so clever" we continued to shop.

The problem with shopping when you're over 45 or 50 is twofold. First, few designers design for women over 45. Second, those who do consider designing for older women produce unexciting, and mostly unflattering garments that can be purchased on the Shopping Network in an array of fashion colors. The trends and the energy are directed to the kids...and we have the money. It's as if Fifth Avenue would simply like us to fade into the background and not be noticed. Well, screw that. I want to be seen. I want to be stylish without being ridiculous. I want the stores and departments I shop in (or am supposed to shop in ) to be merchandised in ways that are fun and exciting. I am not dead. I am not planning on dying any too soon. I would like an adult wardrobe that is stylish and(ahem) appropriate. Oh yea, and affordable.

So, I will buy the fashion basics in the dull places - but I will also continue stalking Forever Twenty-One and Charlotte Russe because they have cool stuff!!!! I'll have to count on my own style-sense to keep me from going too far. As for those 'skinny jeans' I mentioned earlier - I look really good in them and I wear them proudly!